I have never understood why 'fat' has a stigma attached – as though the person were less intelligent or inferior – this is why youngsters get depressed, become bulimic or even commit suicide! The world needs to unlearn everything to do with this subject, and value the personality, the ability, the kindness and the love that exists in a person's soul, not indicated by the shape of their body, the cut of their clothes, or the contours of their face.
So it has come to this; my hand is shaking as I write and the shortness of my breath finds a new pain in my chest every time I breathe. I have been here many times now and I’ll never get used to the smell. That gut wrenching acid that leaps up your nose the minute you enter the building. What is that crap they use? It’s supposed to kill germs, not dissolve every person that enters the building. I’m sure people leave here two inches shorter than they were on arrival.
I hate it here! Why do they keep on putting me back in here like I’m some kind of lunatic? I’ll tell you the definition of lunacy; stabbing a person’s vein with a needle, attaching a tube and forcing liquid fat into their bodies until they are big enough to roll out of the building! If that’s not insanity I don’t know what is!
No-one listens to me, not my mum, not my sister and least of all that white-caped demon that calls himself my doctor. I am 12 years old! I’m not a baby anymore and I’ll go where I like, dress how I like and most of all EAT what I like!
I’ve found it much more difficult since I started High School. I’ve seen how the skinny girls look at school and I just want to be a bit more attractive and fit in like they do. They’re always more popular and no-one gives them any trouble. I found that out the hard way on the first day when the word Fatty followed me around like a shadow.
Suddenly chubby has transformed into obese, spots are now volcanos and small chests are fried eggs. The children who were once my friends have metamorphasised into cruel biting animals who feast on my pain and self-doubt. Pretty ponytails are now knives in my back. I have no control over what they say or do to me but I do have control over me. I can change me and that is exactly what I am trying to do!
Whatever they’re pumping into me in this place is making me ill! My teeth are falling out and I find hair on my pillow every morning when I awake. I’m so tired all the time and it’s all their fault. If I was at home I would be doing my exercises to strengthen my muscles; they wouldn’t be withering away like they are in here. I’m upset now and it’s harder to hold the pen, I’ll just rest for a whi……
A Letter From Mum
Hallo, my darling, just a few lines to say how much we are all missing you. Even Lucy! Your sister finds no fulfilment in just snooping around her own bedroom! Anyway sweetheart, I thought this extract from your journal might help with your campaign for ‘The Road to Anorexia; How to Make a U-turn’
Love you and see you next week xxx
Reasoning Behind The story
When I wrote this I considered ending the story with 'I'll just rest for a whi.....' to suggest that the child had passed out or even died through lack of food. This was not to be miserable or dramatic, but to emphasise how serious a condition Anorexia is. It's a killer, and children who are 'teasing' other children because of their weight need to realise this. To be fair, so do a lot of adults who seem to reason the same way, and ridicule someone just because they don't look like Angelina Joli. It's how we act and what we do for others that counts, and how beautiful we are inside is entirely up to us.
Okay, I'll climb down from my soapbox now, and explain why I put the 'Letter From Mum' at the end of the story. It is to illustrate that there is hope – those with eating disorders can recover, and some recover and make it their mission to help others who are suffering in the same way. From personal experience I can tell you "The Road to Anorexia - You Can Make A U-turn."
Eating Disorder–Treatment and Recovery
True Recovery from Anorexia and Bulimia involves learning to:
Listen to your body.
Listen to your feelings.
Enjoy life again.
http://www.oagb.org.uk/ United Kingdom.
http://www.oa.org/newcomers/ Worldwide Organisation.
Don’t be fooled by the name! This a 12 step programme of recovery similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, and is for anyone whose life has become unmanageable because of over-eating, under-eating, bingeing and vomiting, self-inflicted starvation and any other issue with food. There are support networks with many other sufferers to talk to, eating plans and literature to help you with your recovery.
Tel: 07000 784985
“OA doesn’t only helps me to deal with my food issues, it teaches me a new way of living. OA changed me from inside out, so I don’t need to use food anymore to change the way I feel.”
Life Works – Dedicated To Recovery
Tel: 0808 149 6538
International Number +44 (0) 1483 342 520
Contact Form: http://www.lifeworkscommunity.com/contact/enquiry-form.html
I love this website for the way it offers help and advice for the suffering Bulimic, and also for the parents who are worried to death, and unsure how to go about helping their child. Real stories are the stories that are the most important, because you can relate to each other’s difficulties and problems. Valuable information on recovery, and comfort and support from people who are just like you!
Your Bulimia Recovery–I recovered…You can too!
Bulimia Support Groups – Share Your Fears and Frustrations – Express Your Hopes and Dreams – Tell Your Stories of Bulimia!